The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

For NASA, space is still a high priority.