I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.

I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.